Resolutions that Last

We relish in being given a new chance with each New Year. We promise ourselves, and our loved ones that we will do things different this year. We will live full lives, ones that make us happy, ones that will make us thinner, more peaceful, more successful.

We write down our lists, tell others (or not) and then hope for the best. It is a long year with lots of hope and promise of what can be. Unfortunately, living into the hope and promise of a new long year is just what sabotages our efforts.

Our efforts begin strong as we plunge forward and join the gym or go back to the gym that we have long since abandoned.  We pack healthy lunches for work and throw out all the holiday goodies.  We write down our daily lists and check them off twice. All the while almost humming a happy tune about how this year will be different.

Then March or April show up and suddenly the days turn into weeks, and then into months and without a warning, become a tedious task at best. All that planning, and creativity to make sure everything fits just the way you said it would almost turns it into a job! And the more you think about how long you will have to work in order for it to be life-changing and life-long, the more ready you are to give it up. Sure, you can do it right now, but if you are tired already, how will you possibly keep it up for the next few decades?

Sometimes our thoughts move us into action, but mostly, our deep thoughts have one purpose: sabotage.  You know the voice. The one that says, ‘You know you aren’t going to do this much longer anyway.’ The one that says, ‘Come on, you aren’t fooling anyone, they all know you aren’t going to be successful at this.’  Yet while your voice is just running its’ usual mouth, you start to believe it and forget that you are choosing to listen to it, but could also choose to ignore it. 

Want to finally have success at your commitments? Ignore it! Or even better, gently thank it for coming and do what you have to do in spite of it.

You do not have to do this forever. Whatever it is. Whether it is your business, a healthy lifestyle, or a workout plan, you do not have to do this forever. You don’t. I am freeing you from those imprisoning words.

But will this really work if I don’t commit to this for the rest of my life? 

Yes!

Because all you actually need to do, is honor your commitment today.  That is it. Nike wasn’t just branding their company so you would wear it on your shirt. They were branding the motto we should wear in our hearts.

Just do it. Today (I added that part!).  All you need to do is honor your commitment today, and tomorrow…will take care of itself, as it ever so gracefully falls into ‘today.’ Have this resolution, be the one that lasts.

www.GellerCoaching.com

Life. Part II. Women in Transition.

The unknown can be frightening. In fact, the unknown can be so frightening that it can leave us feeling immobilized, craving the old and familiar, and romanticizing what was. It can lead to moments of depression, feelings of anxiety and a constant questioning of why me?
Some people manage their fears of the unknown by keeping busy. Perhaps shopping, sleeping, eating, drinking, etc, whatever is necessary to stay distracted from the fears or worry that lie underneath. But worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do, but won’t get you anywhere.
Often we think that we are moving in the right direction if we don’t sit down as much, spend more time at the gym, or more time fixing, cleaning and/or doing. Though this is technically moving, real movement in the direction of happiness will need to be mindful. With each step, you need to think about how your leg feels as it hits the ground, how the ground feels as you land upon it, how your body responds to the new moment upon you. Real movement should involve being acutely aware of what passes you by, what surrounds you as you move and what lies before you in wait. There should be steady, yet constant movement.

But what if you have no idea what is next or where you will land?
So what.
You don’t have to know where you are going next; you merely have to be committed to the movement itself. If you actually knew where you were going, you would no longer be in a place of unknown, but in a place of actually landing. You will get there; everyone does, but only when it is time. Until then, it is about following your intuitions, rediscovering what makes you happy and continuing to move in a place that feels good. Then keep the faith that you will know you are there, once you have arrived. Not a moment before…
We have ignored our intuitive feelings for far too long and now, in place of discovering what is next, we need to start listening to what has been in our hearts all along. When you were a child it was simple. You knew what you wanted and you either went and got it or asked someone to get it for you. Yet as you grew older it wasn’t quite that simple. What once began as fulfilling your needs, easily fell into what others around you needed, until eventually your needs, what made you feel happiest inside, began to get quieter. Your needs became about fulfilling their needs. Until eventually you became unclear what your needs even were. Or did you actually always know, but were willing to put those thoughts and needs away?
Perhaps it wasn’t about giving up your needs throughout your life at all, but about needing what you needed in that time period and then awakening one day to a whole new set of needs. Perhaps you had formed your life around those needs, and it actually made you feel happy and complete inside, until it didn’t anymore. Or maybe, due to the passing of time, it was just time for change.
It doesn’t matter how yesterday showed up or how it once looked, or what you did until this moment. It doesn’t even matter if you were happy during that time, or completely unhappy. Either way, transitioning into what is next, can show up as quite a challenge, with moments of excitement, filled in with moments of worry.

Worrying means you have lost faith.

In order to create change, or transition into something that is new, you need to have faith that it will all work out just as it is supposed to.
The first step in transitioning into something new is to be prepared.

1 - Have a complete plan of how you would like to get started.

2 – Plan what steps you can follow as you go.

3 – Create a timeline of when you will complete and/or attempt things.

4 – Design a picture of what you would like it to look and feel like when you arrive.

The most important part is to focus on where you want to be and how you want to feel. Don’t give any attention to the other parts: worries, fears, anxiousness…simply thank those thoughts for showing up, and then start moving. New exciting beginnings are just around the corner.