Surprisingly, there is a positive energy about that quote, yet when you feel fear, you feel sick, motionless, paralyzed, and sweaty as the adrenalin rushes and your knees seem to wobble from underneath you. If only we could see that change is just around the corner.
When faced with fears, we are quick to name it appropriately and add it to the fear list: being alone, becoming sick, failure, admitting defeat, letting others down, being embarrassed, dying, getting hurt, being rejected…there are a million things to fear, yet some we do and others we don’t. But it isn’t the list of what you fear that matters, it is what you do once standing in fear that really matters.
Why? Because what you do while standing in fear will declare your level of success, as well as your level of happiness. Think about it. Perhaps you have always wanted to learn to swim, but have a fear of drowning. What do you do? You either choose not to swim, which will not eliminate your fear, but allow you to skirt around it, or you learn to swim, which will not only eliminate your fear, but allow you to be healthy and strong as well. One choice leaves you standing still, while the other moves you into action.
Many fears come from mental creations, that aren’t reality based. For instance, even if we haven’t experienced a near death drowning, the fear of drowning is very real. We may never have fallen while skiing, yet we choose not to ski for fear we might fall. These examples come from things we have seen or heard about, yet may not have personally experienced. Remotely similar to our innate fear of change, even if we haven’t experienced a bad situation directly related to change, we still fear what could happen: from leaving our marriages, finding new jobs, to trying out new things. They all force us to face one question: What if…What if what we hope to have happen, doesn’t occur at all? What if instead, the change creates an even worse situation?
There is a what if story for every scenario possible, but what you choose to fill in those dots with, is what matters most. We are famous for filling it in with negative consequences, but what if the only list you make, is of the possible positive consequences. If there aren’t any positive consequences, then you should rethink the change, but chances are good that if you have been contemplating the change, you have also visualized the possible positive outcomes that could occur.
The next thing to do is embrace the fear. Take it on as if you own it, not as if it owns you. Then stand tall and look it straight in the eyes. Lastly, look carefully at how long you have been talking about this change. How long you have been unsatisfied in this area of your life, yet have continued to tolerate it, due to your fears. What if…you could look straight into your fear, and move forward anyway, in spite of it? Then you would truly get to see what’s possible.
I continue to battle with fears just like everyone else and am fortunate enough to have children who have been trained by...me! So after my bike accident and near-missing oncoming traffic, I talked to my children about my own fears. I even considered quitting triathlons altogether, just to avoid getting back on the bike. Yet it was my son that offered a reality check.
“If you’re waiting for the fear to subside, before getting back on the bike, you can forget about it. It won't happen," he said. "Get the bike fixed and then get on.”
Luckily for me I knew enough to listen to him. I also knew that I had said those very words to others as well and that it was sound advice. There was only one way to compete in my next triathlon and it was to get on my bike, in spite of my fear. It was to focus on what I wanted…to ride…not what I didn’t want…to fall. And so I did just that. I stood in the face of my fear, got my bike fixed and rode.
Fear can propel us into action, as long as we don't stand still when it comes at us. Haven’t you been standing still long enough? Today, face your fear and allow the change to occur…the possibilities will surprise you.
