"Fear. The Gateway to Meaningful Change."

Surprisingly, there is a positive energy about that quote, yet when you feel fear, you feel sick, motionless, paralyzed, and sweaty as the adrenalin rushes and your knees seem to wobble from underneath you. If only we could see that change is just around the corner.

When faced with fears, we are quick to name it appropriately and add it to the fear list: being alone, becoming sick, failure, admitting defeat, letting others down, being embarrassed, dying, getting hurt, being rejected…there are a million things to fear, yet some we do and others we don’t. But it isn’t the list of what you fear that matters, it is what you do once standing in fear that really matters.

Why? Because what you do while standing in fear will declare your level of success, as well as your level of happiness. Think about it. Perhaps you have always wanted to learn to swim, but have a fear of drowning. What do you do? You either choose not to swim, which will not eliminate your fear, but allow you to skirt around it, or you learn to swim, which will not only eliminate your fear, but allow you to be healthy and strong as well. One choice leaves you standing still, while the other moves you into action.

Many fears come from mental creations, that aren’t reality based. For instance, even if we haven’t experienced a near death drowning, the fear of drowning is very real. We may never have fallen while skiing, yet we choose not to ski for fear we might fall. These examples come from things we have seen or heard about, yet may not have personally experienced. Remotely similar to our innate fear of change, even if we haven’t experienced a bad situation directly related to change, we still fear what could happen: from leaving our marriages, finding new jobs, to trying out new things. They all force us to face one question: What if…What if what we hope to have happen, doesn’t occur at all? What if instead, the change creates an even worse situation?

There is a what if story for every scenario possible, but what you choose to fill in those dots with, is what matters most. We are famous for filling it in with negative consequences, but what if the only list you make, is of the possible positive consequences. If there aren’t any positive consequences, then you should rethink the change, but chances are good that if you have been contemplating the change, you have also visualized the possible positive outcomes that could occur.

The next thing to do is embrace the fear. Take it on as if you own it, not as if it owns you. Then stand tall and look it straight in the eyes. Lastly, look carefully at how long you have been talking about this change. How long you have been unsatisfied in this area of your life, yet have continued to tolerate it, due to your fears. What if…you could look straight into your fear, and move forward anyway, in spite of it? Then you would truly get to see what’s possible.

I continue to battle with fears just like everyone else and am fortunate enough to have children who have been trained by...me! So after my bike accident and near-missing oncoming traffic, I talked to my children about my own fears. I even considered quitting triathlons altogether, just to avoid getting back on the bike. Yet it was my son that offered a reality check.

“If you’re waiting for the fear to subside, before getting back on the bike, you can forget about it. It won't happen," he said. "Get the bike fixed and then get on.”

Luckily for me I knew enough to listen to him. I also knew that I had said those very words to others as well and that it was sound advice. There was only one way to compete in my next triathlon and it was to get on my bike, in spite of my fear. It was to focus on what I wanted…to ride…not what I didn’t want…to fall. And so I did just that. I stood in the face of my fear, got my bike fixed and rode.

Fear can propel us into action, as long as we don't stand still when it comes at us. Haven’t you been standing still long enough? Today, face your fear and allow the change to occur…the possibilities will surprise you.

Are You Right?

What’s all this talk about world peace?

I mean, of course I believe that everyone learning to co-exist could only bring amazing things to this world…but WORLD peace? Really? Do we understand how large of a task that is? Do we really understand how many closed-minded opinions we would have to alter in order to get everyone thinking the same peaceful thoughts?

I am not trying to be pessimistic or remotely suggest that creating peace across the world is not possible. I am a firm believer that anything is quite possible, if done with intention and persistence. Just think, we could probably eliminate hunger and homelessness too, since we would then have a world filled with human beings helping other human beings. Sure, we may not be able to eliminate people dying of horrible diseases around the world, but if we could guarantee that all human beings were operating from a heartfelt place, wanting to love and feel loved, think of all the other unbelievable changes that could also occur.

What keeps us from world peace is that most of the anger, fighting and killing comes from a place of feeling right. A feeling that the way we think is the way it really is. As if our thoughts and beliefs are factual. It’s not that I don’t understand how it feels to want to stand strongly in your beliefs. I do. I come from a long line of debaters, a family of confident people that are willing to go to bat for themselves. But even with that upbringing, I was able to comprehend that it was my opinion. Did I talk relentlessly at times, too loudly, too persistently, coming across as though there were only one side to the story…yes! But in the end, what good can come of that? You can’t actually convince someone to think like you do. You can’t force someone to do things like you do. Well, you can actually, but that isn’t what you want. What you really want is for others to not only see your side, but also value it and then take it on as theirs as well. Yet that doesn’t usually happen.

Instead, you should only hope to offer a new perspective to those that see it differently. But you can only offer. It is still their choice to do with it what they will.

Even with that knowledge, though, if we all stayed within the boundaries of the laws, making decisions based on what was for the better good of society and the human race, then couldn’t we eliminate much of what now shows up as hate and create a peaceful world?

Maybe, but only if we could work on the true problem at hand. The problem is not that the world is too large…in my opinion. The problem is that the very same people that are fighting for world peace do not have peace within themselves. Peace will not come by changing others. Peace will not come from blaming others. Peace will not come by getting revenge on those that have not done it our way. Peace has to come from within ourselves. In order to be peaceful from our core, we will need to learn to be with the silence at times, as well as the noise; we will need to learn to be still. We will need to accept that our feelings are just that: ours. They don’t make you feel any particular way. Actually, you feel how you feel, because that is how you feel! So stop the blame game. Give up on your desire to change others, and focus on the act of sharing. Be mindful with everyone you interact with that we all want the same thing: to love and be loved. And that even though you are certain that you know…you don’t always know.

We have a long way to go before we can even touch the surface on a world that is peaceful always, and until we can each find peace within ourselves, no matter what our past has given us…world peace will remain out of our reach.

Do what you have to in order to find peace. It will change your life, which in turn, will change all the lives of others around you.

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Say What You Mean

I hear what you are saying, but even just listening is exhausting. Unlike others in your life who ask how you are and don't wait for the response, I actually hear what you are saying and am waiting for your response. Not only that, but once you tell me, I am secretly trying to take it to the next level and trying to help.

As I observe your actions though, I can only wonder if that is really what you want. You tell a passionate story. Your eyes gaze into the air above as if you can almost feel yourself having it all: passion, happiness, success, freedom...you are so passionate in fact, that I can almost feel it. Yet once your story-telling is over, your eyes seem to lower, creating somewhat of a defeated look. You appear to be resigned to having the life you have right now, exactly as it is.

"Impossible!" you say, "I do want more!"

Really?

The two largest complaints I hear are about wanting to move forward in life and wanting more financial success. While you may hear these topics as larger than life, I am clear that as long as you have actions that follow your words, connected with a real plan and an ability to truly imagine what they look like, you can achieve either...or both.

So you say you want to move forward? You want to stop having your past dictate your future? Of course you do! Who wouldn't want that? Maybe the answer is you. Moving forward is not hard to do. It can be painful, with its daily or weekly challenges, but it is about commitment. It is about honoring your word to stop looking back. It is about not treating people in your life today, based on what your life brought to your doorstep yesterday.

"Today's hysteria is history."

That's right. Whatever upsetting or stopping you in this very moment, has so many legs from your past attached to it that you can't even see what is present in this moment. And if you can't see what is present in this moment, then you are choosing to live in the past and will not be moving forward. Not today anyway.

Tomorrow, however...there is a chance to start over by asking yourself a simple question:

If there were no limitations or fears what would I be willing to do to achieve my goals?

Got it? Great!

Understand that limitations are merely obstacles to climb over and fears, well, are just fears. You can thank them for showing up over and over, but then continue on your journey in spite of them.

Now we can go back to the original topic of what you really want and how long are you willing to let yourself get in your own way? Carve out what you want by being completely present in this moment. Put aside what your past has said you are capable of and create the path to get you there.

Say what you mean, then back it up with actions that truly show you mean it!

Investments that Matter

You work hard and are successful.

But what if the success you are truly capable of has barely been touched?

Do you have a support team? Do you have someone that expands on your thoughts, supports your ideas and holds you accountable for your action plans?

Why not?

The mind is a dark and dangerous place…don’t go there alone!

Clearly you have the drive it takes to achieve success, but what if you’ve barely touched upon what is possible? With the support of a Coach, you will experience success more efficiently and effectively. You will find yourself in constant motion, with fresh ideas and new perspectives. You will have two minds, working as one!

In order to be successful as a Business Owner, you will constantly need to assess whether something is an investment or an expense. Investments are critical to a successful future. Expenses can often wait. That’s what you need to decide: Is a successful business something you want to own and control? Or are you willing to take a gamble and see where it lands?

“Having a Coach is the difference between knowing what to do…and doing it.”

Cheryl Patnick, President of Capella Consultants

A Business Coach is perfect for:

· Helping successful business people exceed their expectations.

· Refining and building upon existing skills and talents.

· Increasing profitability, projecting confidence and organizing time better.

· Creating a successful system that fosters business now, while planting the necessary seeds for the future.

The value of having a Business Coach speaks for itself even in the very first session.

The time is now. It is later than you think.

The Road to Nowhere

Are you sure?

I am often asked how I am remain so positive no matter what seems to be going on around me. I am asked if I have some super human powers, or if I am simply a dreamer and it happens to work in my favor. My answer to that question doesn’t come as instinctively as my ability to think positively.

This morning the answer came to me clearly though, as I sat at my mac, and decided to change my screen saver. After scrolling through a few pictures, I found the perfect one. The photo actually made me stop and stare in almost a trance. It made me wonder, think and question. It silenced my ever-running mind that always thinks it has the answers. It stopped me in a place of question, yet in a place of comfort as well.

It was a black and white photo with a wooden pier that I guessed to be about 20-30 feet long. Surrounding it was a calm body of water that forced my eyes to stare into the distance and see nothing else but more and more water. The only land to be seen was a small area of sand near the beginning of the pier. An area so small, that my eyes had difficulty staying there.

I immediately could hear voices of worry from clients and friends looking at this same photo. I imagined them expressing feelings of concern about being alone or abandoned. I could hear their voices saying there was no reason to keep looking, since it was a road to nowhere. Yet as I continued to look, I could not see the picture of emptiness that most might see. I was not met with fears as I gazed down the pier. I was not engrossed with worry about what lurked in the open space. Instead, what I saw was very similar to how I see life.

It was not a road to nowhere, but rather, a road to anywhere. It was not a body of water that had nothing to offer, but rather a body of water that held opportunities that could not yet be seen. I was clear from this viewpoint, that all could not be seen, but that there was definitely more. I was confident that what lie in the unknown, had the potential to be great and felt comfort in the possibility of being able to create it any way that I wanted.

Check your road again. Is it really the road to nowhere? Or are the possibilities so endless, you are afraid to look?

Unemployment is a Full Time Job

The only way to turn around being unemployed is to work!

If only it were that easy, right? Wrong. While it may not be easy to find a job as quickly as you would like, the quickest way to turn it around, is to immediately treat the ‘search’…as your job!

There are many stages one enters (or sometimes settles into) after being laid off, and this process is often what keeps once successful working people on the unemployment line. Stages of depression and low self-esteem (I should have worked harder) often combined with an entitlement (I am sick of working so hard and not being appreciated anyway!) usually lead to a defeat of doing nothing or an acceptance of ‘time off’. Either way, you have already begin the job search a few steps behind.

This is not the time to wallow in your self-pity, nor start vacationing. Instead, this is the time to get motivated and/or get even and begin your search. You can’t change the current situation, but you can create a different perspective, which will ultimately design a new future. Assume that your job search is now your full time job, and your severance pay is what you are going to live on minimally, until you find the next place to land. While in this situation there will be no time to wallow, celebration and time off will be just around the corner, if you follow a few ground rules.

Just like when you were working, you will need to set up a daily and weekly schedule. You will need an especially strong system in place now, since there won’t be anyone to hold you accountable to your tasks and goals.

To start your system:

1 – Get your planner ready and write in daily and weekly tasks. Be specific. If you simply write: call recruiter, most likely it won’t get done. Write their name and number, as well as the day and time you will call.

2 – Choose specific times for scanning the web to find the right recruiter for you, or job postings through the classified sections on the web and then stick to that plan.

3 – Include in your schedule when you will update your resume, make calls to friends that may have leads and even when you will check emails. (A simple task of checking emails can consume your whole day if you let it.)

4 – If you are overzealous about tasks and find some aren’t getting done, simply move them to the next day. Do not assume it will get done. If it isn’t done on Monday, rewrite it on Tuesday. Your brain will need the reminder and you will feel good about accomplishing it.

5 – Find other places to work besides your house. Sometimes the process of getting yourself up and out of the house is just what you need to get motivated. Most places that sell coffee also have free Wi-Fi so take advantage of it!

6 – Add breaks to your schedule, to keep yourself feeling fresh. Actually add to your calendar when you will meet with friends, take walks or hit the gym. If you see it written you will feel less guilty about doing it.

Perspective will make all the difference in your search. Treat the search like an opportunity to find what is truly next for you. Who knows, it may be better than you ever could have anticipated. Don’t give up. No matter how shut down you feel, remind yourself that there is no time for tired now, but there will be later. Do what you have to in order to land a new job. Then once you do, celebrate and even take some time off by telling your new employer when ‘you’ are able to begin.

Stay present in this moment and know that it will never again occur in just this way.